Thursday, February 14, 2008

Real Estate Mess: Scapegoating

There must be no crisis, because everyone is convinced they didn't do anything. Why don't their Pollyanna attitudes make me feel warm and fuzzy? Greenspan, Bernanke, Bush, Century 21, mortgage brokers, appraisers, Countrywide, Moody's, FICO, WAMU, speculators, and my favorite: HGTV and "Flip That House," have all come out to say they were just victims of a systematic shift in the underpinnings of our socio-economic reality.

So if it's any consolation, I'm happy to take the blame. My bad. While Rachel and I were in Romania herding sheep and teaching their Gen Y to speak idiosyncratic American English, I was plotting a diabolical scheme to secretly signal to the Fed to keep interest rates low after the tech bubble burst and convincing banks to unload their liabilities into investment vehicles (CDOs) that people all around the world could buy in small "risk-free" chuncks (according to S&P), thereby aleviating the barriers to entry for sub-prime borrowers and creating a supersized proletariat uprising of home buyers and flippers - egged on by dreams of riches as promised by HGTV. As you can imagine, Rachel and I had quite a bit of extra time in the Peace Corps.


Andrew & Joanne said...

I knew it was you two all along! JK JK... But honestly - Joanne and I have to take part of the blame- we can split it 50/50 with you.

Whilst Joanne was a PB we had quite the get rich scam going. We may have made the Fed amenable to our insidious scheme. Consequently, it looks like we may have screwed over the whole economy.. mmmyyy badd!

Sarah said...

I wish I was smart enough to understand your last few posts. But the big words confuse me.